Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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