and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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