so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
