one two three fourrrrnication!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
