areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize