Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
