this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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