You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
