Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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