I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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