Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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