There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
