I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
