You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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