You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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