apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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