I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
