I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
