We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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