It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The best revenge is premature balding
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
