Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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