brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
