Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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