If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
