my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
