look no pants
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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