I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
