We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
