your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
