the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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