I'm going to jail i love you
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
