apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
