as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
