she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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