This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
