i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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