i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
