so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My friends, they love my intelligence
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
