im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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