Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
