The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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