I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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