Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
