My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
