wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
