So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
