my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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