fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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