So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
