You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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