I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
