I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
