One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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