..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
