Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
