You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Green mimosas i think yes
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
