dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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