$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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