Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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