I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So many bounce houses so little time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
