If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
