yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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