ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
