Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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