If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
