Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
