I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
