The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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