I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
