i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
