I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
