I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
